My Question of the Day
Do you suppose that schitzophrenic birds have tweeting in their heads instead of voices?

Coolest. Dad. Ever.

Boy's Penis Stitched Back After Donkey Bite

MAP [news agency] did not say how the donkey managed to bite off the boy's penis.

But the rest of us can speculate, can't we?

Rebel Blockade Runner Available on E-Bay
A 35ft long replica of the Tantive IV, also known as the Rebel Blockade Runner, built 1:1 scale to Hasbro's 3-3/4 inch action figures. She's big enough for you, old man.

Ex-Dictator Broke, Living With Mom

Valentine Strasser became the world's youngest head of state when he seized power in 1992 at the age of 25. But the limelight didn't last – four years later, he was ousted in another coup.

"I'm basically living off my mother now. She's been very supportive," the 35-year-old said at a neighborhood bar on the outskirts of Freetown, Sierra Leone's capital.

X-Day's Coming!

An asteroid discovered just weeks ago has become the most threatening object yet detected in space.

It was first seen on the night of 5 July, picked up by the Linear Observatory's automated sky survey programme in New Mexico, US.

We've Been Ripped Off

El Guapo Guano, a founding member of the Damage Patrol, has been ripped off by PVP.

Sigh.

Oh! Hey look its....

S P I D E R M A N!

NO! don't click! Don't!
Awww, ya clicked there didn't ya?

-Wasteland Man

Happy-Lucky Chinese Restaurant Game
A goofy game to play while you and your friends await the delivery of your luscious dinner with loud report in the restaurant you have all sat down in! Many times more like counting license plates of various principailties while driving along the road I must say, but with much better dialogue in my own opinion, if you catch my meaning. I certainly do, by the luck of the Gods! Hi-yaaaa!

Cobra: The Musical
Citizens of the Fringe! My name is Cobra Commander. I am the leader of Cobra. We are a ruthless terrorist organization bent on world domination (or so our press agent likes to claim). We are the arch villains of G.I. Joe. You may remember us from the popular 1980's cartoon series: G.I. Joe. Well as it turns out, we have discovered that we are broke. The only solution that we have come up with is to try to make some money by putting on the Shakespearean play: Hamlet. The good folks at Purple Nine Productions have been able to get us into the Montreal, Ottawa and Toronto Fringe Festivals. Once we have enough money, we will then take over the world…as scheduled! This will be a glorious year that the Fringe will not soon forget!!!!

Superman vs. Batman: Investigating the All American Hero
kuro5hin.org recently hosted this article which compares our favorite DC heroes' methods to those adopted by the current administration. Here's a sample:

Cloaked and masked in a black outfit designed to generate fear, anonymous, unaccountable, striking out of the darkness without warning, upholding justice while being free from the bounds of due process, Batman epitomises the ideals of the heroes and defenders of society, our modern law enforcement and paramilitary governmental agencies.

Your thoughts? The Unclebear forums await!

I Have No Board and I Must Go
This article may be the best introduction to the game of Go that I've ever seen. And so far, that makes one. But it's still really good. It makes me want to go learn carpentry so that I can put together a board on which to play a game I don't even know.

The Digital Dark Age

In 2000 the University of California, Berkeley published a study showing that printed content represents only 0.003% of the world's total information -- most of the remainder is stored digitally. If that figure is correct, almost our entire output as a society is entrusted to one of several Microsoft operating systems and disks with twelve-month limited warranties.

*cue danger music*

Funny how we call it the Information Age now, when in the future it will be incredibly difficult to get any of that information *back*...

VillainSupply.com

Welcome to www.villainsupply.com, your best online source for everything EVIL. If you are a supervillain, mad scientist, warlord, dictator, or despot, then this is the place for you.

Truly a one-stop shop. VillainSupply.com offers fabulous prices on secret lairs, traps, superweapons, personal augmentation technology, and doomsday devices. Their helpful HenchJobs service can hook you up with the right lackeys for the right price, and the EvilRealtor database contains the finest locales to plant your hidden dungeon, from the peaks of the Himalayas to the undersea kingdom of Atlantis.

Now On eBay:
1973 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow Owned By Frank Zappa

This statement of proper British elegance was the daily driver for iconoclastic composer/guitarist and Mothers of Invention founder Frank Zappa. Shortly before purchasing the automobile, Mr. Zappa let his driver's license lapse and never made the time to renew it. However, he thoroughly enjoyed the comfort of this Rolls and as a result, he was driven by a chauffer. Purchased new, it served as a vehicular counterpoint to its owner's avant garde learning. Though Zappa music often has a humorous or satiric bent, he was regarded as a very serious composer and world-class guitarist. The personalized license plate RDNZL is an abbreviation of the title of one of Zappa's compositions "Redunzel". In addition, the car has a red striping that appeared on the car following a servicing though it had not been requested by the owner. Frank never bothered to have it removed.

As an interesting anecdote, it has been said that Frank only allowed the car to be driven with the Rolls Royce flying lady emblem turned backwards, as he said his "ass was always hanging in the wind."

The auction for Dweezil's Aston-Martin Volante has already closed.

Set a Book Free, Track It Online
Reading enthusiasts across the globe have taken to leaving books laying around in public with a web address inside. The idea is that whoever picks up the book may find it a good read, register the book's current location on the website, then leave it out to begin the cycle anew. A pretty cool idea, if you ask me, and much in the flavor of tracking George Washington - and to think it was all made possible by helium balloon technology, although sadly the romance of the message in a balloon has cynically given way to email indistinguishable from spam.

Tragedy in Your Wallet
So, just in case you didn't get enough images on TV, in newspapers, and through your email, you can re-create your very own psyche-scarring montage of the Twin Towers inferno (and even the Pentagon!) using some clever origami and a twenty dollar bill.

On a side note, how you noticed how aspects of various forms of currency make for a big player when it comes to discovering the secret cosmic conspiracies in America? Do any other countries have cash that, when properly manipulated, exude this kind of sinister monetary precognition? There's a topic for a dissertation if I've ever heard one - or a discussion in the Unclebear forums. Future Ph.D. recipients, you're welcome.